This is no longer me…

Sunshines, For the last thirty-six years, I’ve spent my life in the haze of no-lye( this is kinda ironic), burning scalp, smelly concotions, to achieve the straightest thick, coarse hair that I could. It was under the belief that I had no other choice if I wanted my gorgeous crown to fit into the “standards of beauty”, that I had to subject my hair to at least monthly. I didn’t know anything else. I was afraid to see what my natural hair texture was like…who would want to deal with that? Yes…I had no patience to figure it out. And truthfully, I was scared…

Scared of not being accepted by the “norm”. Scared of not being seen as “beautiful”. Scared that I wouldn’t like my own hair and fail at being a “natural”. It all changed in August of 2013. I was about to enter a new phase and I wanted it to represent change…a metaphormophisis in my life. So I reflected, “cocooned”, and made a decision…my last relaxer was in May and it would be the last one that I would receive. No more was I addicted to the “allure of the creamy crack”. The haze disappeared and I could see clearly that no matter what my natural texture would be, I would love it because it was all ME!

On March 1st, after transitioning for close to 9 months, I did my chop! It wasn’t much of a big one for I had transitioned well. But I was still proud to get rid of my “dead” relaxed ends and let the life of my natural hair begin. I got my newly freed hair blown out to check the length. Leaving the salon, I commited to keeping my tresses straight for a few days.


Funny thing…it was embraced by others…but I wasn’t feeling it. I missed my curls…and the kinks, the coils! Oh My! The straight hair lasted for about 2 or 3 days and I couldn’t wait to wash my hair for them to return! The straight hair, the relaxed look…is no longer me! Wow….

My decision and journey to natural has been amazing! I have not only learned to have patience with my hair, but I’m learning about her needs and what it takes for her to be the best her, which makes me feel fabulous and gorgeous! I have also felt completely supported by my husband, my family, and friends. They let me know that it was okay for me to embrace this natural side of me. They made me feel safe. They let me unleash and go through the journey with the good, bad and the beautiful of my trial hairstyles and product tests. Even when I see stares and looks of uncertainty from others, especially my co-workers (they never know what to expect from me!), I feel solid. I am having fun and enjoying getting to know this new me and learning what the new standard of beauty is…being authentically you! Living in my truth. And that includes living with the hair that God has blessed me with!



My new beautiful hair, Tabitha (yes…most naturals name their fros/hair)! I hope to bring more tales of Tabitha and our journey together. We also welcome any advice and love (please share in the comments!). What makes you feel beautiful? Have your “standards” of beauty changed as you have gone through life? What defines beauty for you?

Living in my Sunshine,



12 thoughts on “This is no longer me…

    • Thanks so much for reading and the support! I am enjoying learning that I am my own standard of beauty and definitely looking forward to other things falling in place! Please come back and visit soon!

  1. Pedra says:

    Yes the natural side welcomes you! Pretty! I sometimes miss my permed edges. I am slowly leaving her behind and really enjoying my chocolocs (Yay!!!)
    Ive had locs for 9 yrs and it hasnt always been good. I had natural hair when most woman were weavin’ or wigin’ it. And men were not interested in much out side of that. Glad my King-Husband knew. Enjoy Girl!!! Remember you always have the right to change your mind. Your hair!
    Oh im getting some locs dyed purple in morning cant wait!!!!

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