Does marriage “steal” your je ne sais quoi??!

Hello SunShines!

I know it’s been a while but I’ve been not only been busy at the full-time(it’s that time of year!), but also began this spring break a littel under the weather. But about a week ago, I began reading “Happy Women Live Better” by Valerie Burton because I had heard so many good reviews about it and wanted to delve more into the world of what it means to be happy. I already see that it’s going to take me a little time to get through it, although it isn’t a huge book, but I want to reflect and discuss what I’m reading and learning! Of course all kinds of thoughts are coming to mind as I read and reflect. So this morning I had one of those thoughts… how important is being confident tyed to our happiness factor? Then the thought went on to remembering when I was single,but only dating, and I was a sassier, more confident, there something really cool about her, “I got this and me” kind of chic! Not that I’m stil not, to some degree, but I started to think how that has changed within me. I believe that the pressures and expectations of being wife (and wanting to become a mother, thinking of others before self) have “lessened” that confident sassiness OR has my confidence taken on a new “skin”????  Ok so let’s start with the meaning of confidence, which is: belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance (thanks dictionary.com). Breaking it down..I still believe in myself and all that I can do (yes, I do have superpowers…I’m a wife for heaven’s sake!) and I do rely on myelf..but now I also share that by also relying on my hubbs as well. And in the single days I was the absolute only one (and my faith in God) that I relied on. So maybe that’s it…that could create a difference.

shehasthatThen there was my je ne sais quoi factor…I have no idea where I got it from, but I had it! It may have been because I was still growing into my “grown womanness” and forming my identity. It was mysterious and forever evolving…you couldn’t put your finger on its specialness. Now that I’m married, I still feel like I’m evolving and “growing” into the life I am creating. However, at times I don’t feel as “mysterious” for part of my identity as been “identified and created” when I said I do. I am his Mrs. The Wifey. And as much as I love this new identity and all of the wonderful (and not so great) things that come with it…I believe that it may have “taken” away a little of my je ne sais quoi factor. Hmmmm…what do you think, did marriage or a significant relationship change in you in ways that you hadn’t thought of? Please share your thoughts!

Living in the Sunshine,

MochaChic

 

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