New Beginnings…

Can happen at anytime, SunShines!

For the past few weeks, each morning when I  would leave for work, I would notice this bird flying from underneath the roof of our parking garage. I begin to view as a “welcome”  to the day and a reminder to soar….be great!

But today was different for me and my little friend. I was just parking the car, getting bags out of the backseat, and closed the door when I hear a bunch of chirping. I looked up and saw my little feathery mate fly swiftly away. However, I kept looking and noticed a nest with  a little birdie in it! OHHHHH how sweet! Was totally not expecting that! However, as I was walking away with a smile on my face, I began to think that it was not only a reminder but also a sign to me that new beginnings are on the horizon. Thank you God for the beautiful verification… I receive it!

Living in the light,

MochaChic

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We will be strong…

41meSunShines, The unfortunate series of events and the killing of Michael Brown have set deep in my spirit, like so many others I’m sure. Just thinking about this incident as well as the senseless end of life for Trayvon Martin, Jordan Davis, and many others (especially in the Chicago area) brought to mind a poem that I wrote four years ago…

Please Listen©

Shhh don’t you hear it?
Shhh don’t you feel it?
Shhh don’t you see it?
Shhh don’t you smell that?
I’m our youth hear me roar.
I don’t want to be in crisis
Anymore, no more of
The anger that spells danger
Masking the depression and
Sadness I feel nor understand.
Please listen
My shout is louder and I don’t want to bite.
I am fighting for whatever, not sure what, with all of my might.
I push and shove without consequence.
And never once, until too late, do you acknowledge it.
When a short life is taken and gone…
You want to throw up arms,
yelling….we are in crisis and are always causing harm.
Then wondering what is it that WE need to do…
Not knowing what I need from you is clear to me
So finding my own way is key.
Please listen
You all blame my tragedies on the music, technology, and sins of the world.
They can not raise me.
But look within. The man in the mirror does not lie.
You are all knowing that you are not all that you should be for me.
You want me successful without putting anything into it.
Where will I learn this?
School does what it can do in its 8, but how much more
can they take?
First teacher is at home, ask yourself where were you?
Don’t shun me now. Don’t try to rule me now.
Reflections lie in the eye of the beholder.
How will I know what potentials I have if you have fallen short of your own?
Please listen
Feelings of invincibility and the cares of the now rule me.
My actions speak impulsiveness into a reality.
Did you know I do not yet possess the
capabilities to rationalize anything right on my feet?
Why expect this of me?
Please listen
Tattoos of words you speak are wrapped all around…
Worthless
Uncivil
Lost
Unempathetic
Troubled
Entitled
Ruthless
Dark
Soulless
Unwanted
You will be nothing
They are stuck in my head.
Do you hear them? Shhh…please listen I want you to hear me.
You let them drip from your lips so carelessly.
I pick them up and use them to build my path-where will it lead?
They are my excuse to explain who I am to you.
Who you see before you.
A Youth in crisis.
Angry, unruly unyielding
Please listen.
Because you made me.
Now what?? Is it too late for me?
Shhh…Please listen.
Won’t you help me now? Show me how to find my way?
Please listen.

Living in the SunShine,

MochaChic

This is no longer me…

Sunshines, For the last thirty-six years, I’ve spent my life in the haze of no-lye( this is kinda ironic), burning scalp, smelly concotions, to achieve the straightest thick, coarse hair that I could. It was under the belief that I had no other choice if I wanted my gorgeous crown to fit into the “standards of beauty”, that I had to subject my hair to at least monthly. I didn’t know anything else. I was afraid to see what my natural hair texture was like…who would want to deal with that? Yes…I had no patience to figure it out. And truthfully, I was scared…

Scared of not being accepted by the “norm”. Scared of not being seen as “beautiful”. Scared that I wouldn’t like my own hair and fail at being a “natural”. It all changed in August of 2013. I was about to enter a new phase and I wanted it to represent change…a metaphormophisis in my life. So I reflected, “cocooned”, and made a decision…my last relaxer was in May and it would be the last one that I would receive. No more was I addicted to the “allure of the creamy crack”. The haze disappeared and I could see clearly that no matter what my natural texture would be, I would love it because it was all ME!

On March 1st, after transitioning for close to 9 months, I did my chop! It wasn’t much of a big one for I had transitioned well. But I was still proud to get rid of my “dead” relaxed ends and let the life of my natural hair begin. I got my newly freed hair blown out to check the length. Leaving the salon, I commited to keeping my tresses straight for a few days.

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Funny thing…it was embraced by others…but I wasn’t feeling it. I missed my curls…and the kinks, the coils! Oh My! The straight hair lasted for about 2 or 3 days and I couldn’t wait to wash my hair for them to return! The straight hair, the relaxed look…is no longer me! Wow….

My decision and journey to natural has been amazing! I have not only learned to have patience with my hair, but I’m learning about her needs and what it takes for her to be the best her, which makes me feel fabulous and gorgeous! I have also felt completely supported by my husband, my family, and friends. They let me know that it was okay for me to embrace this natural side of me. They made me feel safe. They let me unleash and go through the journey with the good, bad and the beautiful of my trial hairstyles and product tests. Even when I see stares and looks of uncertainty from others, especially my co-workers (they never know what to expect from me!), I feel solid. I am having fun and enjoying getting to know this new me and learning what the new standard of beauty is…being authentically you! Living in my truth. And that includes living with the hair that God has blessed me with!

Introducing….

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My new beautiful hair, Tabitha (yes…most naturals name their fros/hair)! I hope to bring more tales of Tabitha and our journey together. We also welcome any advice and love (please share in the comments!). What makes you feel beautiful? Have your “standards” of beauty changed as you have gone through life? What defines beauty for you?

Living in my Sunshine,

MochaChic

5 Mid-week thoughts of a NewlyWifed

AHHH Wednesday! Definitely my favorite day of the week, possibly because I like to take time to reflect on the week thus far and what else needs to be accomplished the rest of the week. These reflections always results in the most random thoughts, that I always want to share! So here we go,

1. Living…happy today. I’ve declared that I will be faithful to God by choosing happiness, love, and trust instead of depression, fear, and doubt/worry! This song always puts me in the happiest of moods and frame of mind! I mean with the catchy beats and the lyrics being right on point, Pharrell has a hit on his hands (not surprised…been a fan for years!) and I just have to share it with you. It’s become my next theme song and trying to find a way to have it as my song for my alarm clock (maybe it might help with me not being a morning person…lol). Enjoy…

2. Loving… the life I was blessed with! I know that I’m my worst critic (like most women are…why do we do that to ourselves?) and I have to remember that despite my flaws, I need to take time to love on me. So I’m beginning to eat healthy and work out again. I am promising myself to also get back to my creative side (hopefully writing more poetry), and trying to focus on building the life I want to live. The following video was shared with me by one of my dear line sisters and it just had me all in my feelings! It is so inspiring and I plan to keep it in my arsenal for those times when I need a boost. I hope you enjoy it was well.

3. Laughing…which I tend to find a way to do daily! I know it might be crazy that I still refer to myself as “NewlyWifed” although we have been married for a little over 2 years. But I am still learning daily about this marriage thing. Something that I thought about this morning was how our relationship with each other is seen through the eyes of others. There is  no denying that my husband is a social butterfly and enjoys making people laugh. However, what I’ve found is that in that and in our relating with one another, he brings out more of that side to me. We end up complimenting each other pretty well. In fact, someone made a remark last night about how we must have a lot of fun together. We do…but like any other marriage, we also have our stormy times as well. I’m just happy to say that so far, the happy days and laughter do out number the other ones.

4. Random… I often wonder about Motherdom…it’s not a secret that if we are to have more in our family that we have to get on the stick! Since I work in a middle school (which is birth control by the way), I often see parenting mistakes and parents that rock this thing. However, I also know how worrisome and anxious I get (but working on it, see #1) I can get! In fact the other week, the furbaby had been sick off and on over the course of a few days and the Hubbs and I were up one early morning really concerned about him. I began to fret…what will happen to him? I so love him and wish I knew what was wrong? how can I soothe him right now? All of the things a mom would think! And this is just my doggie here…not another human being. So I wonder how much will I be cut out for the role of someone’s mom, although folks always say oh you are going to be a great mom!  Well….

And then there is this feeling & thought that I had over the weekend…so many friends are having little ones. And I began to realize that I hadn’t talked with one particular friend in awhile. Then I panicked in thinking that, is this what happens when you become a mother? do you die…socially? meaning everyone “forgets” about you or is too busy to check on you? or are you too busy to become “social” again? I have declared that I want to improve my relationships with my girlfriends this year and after hanging out with them, I always feel “fuller” and a piece of me feels at peace. So I need that…so the question begs to be asked…how much “happiness” do you “sacrifice” by becoming a mother?  Selfish I know…but then I come across articles like this one,  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/13/childless-couples-happier-kids-study_n_4589368.html , where it says that childless couples report that they are happier and have a more fulfilling  relationships. I agree to an extent only because I always said two things about my marriage (even before Marrydom): divorce is not an option and the marriage is first priority, then children. But what do you all think??

5. WordLove… I miss writing poetry…I really do. But I want to get back to my creative writing roots and finally publish my book that I’ve talked about forever! But here’s a beginning to something that keeps “visiting” my thoughts..a string of six word stories:

 Meant for me? We will see/ Love never ending, is only beginning/  Intense heat, builds the diamond.Priceless/ Sing a song, my heart knows/ House of music, House of happy/ Go without, see what you need.

Just some thoughts while living in the Sunshine,

MochaChic

 

What I know now…because of 2013.

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Hello Sunshines!

The time has arrived to welcome a new year, new opportunity, a do-over, a refresh, a reset…a new endeavor! I want to say that 2013 was a good year to me, however, it was filled with many lessons learned, a few difficult, that I’m still reflecting on and wondering, “Why Lord did I have to go through that to learn a lesson?” O_o  However, what I know now is because of this past year.

The three (because that’s my fav number) things I learned in 2013 were:

1. Sometimes you have to have more than tenacity to make it through this journey called life. You also have to have perseverance, resiliency, and know who is for you (and only worry about those people!). These qualities will not only help you reach your goals, but also through the valleys of struggle that may come along. There were some times of loneliness in the valleys that I experienced and I dug deep within to come through that. It took me strengthening my faith and sharpening the aforementioned qualities to climb me up and prepare for more dips along the way. At the end of this year, I am stronger and better because of it all. This I know now.

2. You have to learn to face the fear of your fears. One of my fears is heights, although I still want to go on a hot air balloon ride and possibly tandem skydiving! Turning forty this year, I wanted to begin to be more daring and not be afraid to live outside of my “box” (that’s where the real life lessons happen right?). Therefore, my husband, keeping to my “theme”, he gifted me a ziplining experience. I was frightened! But the more zips we went on, the more I relaxed, the more I began to enjoy the ride and take in the whole scenario and what was happening. For once, I truly began to live in that moment! That event led me to be open to a wonderful date night with my husband on the new ferris wheel here, SkyView Atlanta! The views of our city were amazing and again, I was able to live in the moment with him and not be concerned about being waaaayyy up high and the fact that it was slightly windy (the gondola did shake some)! As I reflected on why I have this fear of heights, I narrowed it down to it being about “control”…so yes I’m admitting that I have a slight control freak issue. However, because this is also stressful for me at times, I know that I have to work on facing the fear of my fears to become a better me and LIVE life instead of just going through it. And everything always won’t be perfect…or in my control.This I know now.

3. In order for change to arrive, you have to shed who you were before.  This year, I shed the habit of relaxing my hair. I am taking my transitioning to a change in life and a new me from not only the inside but to the outside as well. I had my last relaxer, I think, in May before installing twists. Once it was time to remove the braids, I pretty much decided that I didn’t want to relax my hair anymore and there the movement began of  becoming a Naturalista! I had often thought about transitioning before, but was very afraid to (again scared of letting go the “control over what my hair would be like”) for I had not seen my natural hair texture before (more on this in coming posts!).  Now, I am welcoming this opportunity to grow not only my hair, but also my knowledge of who I am in this experience. It has so far been a rewarding and loving opportunity. This I know now.

I am thankful that this year taught me these things and that I was able to accomplish so much! I am looking forward to many more lessons, AHA moments, and blessings of eye opening, moving forward events in 2014. What I also know now is that this blog is a great forum to share this story in and therefore, please be looking for posts in Life & MochaChic  at least twice a week ( I now have more time!)! And as always, please share by commenting and sharing posts that speak to you in some way! Here’s to a wonderful 2014 and much more to know!

Happy New Year’s Eve Sunshines! See you in 2014…

Living in the Sunshine,

MochaChic

 

 

 

 

Almost Mid-week Thoughts of a Newlywifed

Sunshines,
So here it is Tuesday evening and I’m sitting under a dryer to try out a new style on my transitioning hair! Last night’s attempt was a fail this morning. So I’m hoping that this new one will work. It’s trial and error with this thing…but you know, so is Life!
I’m always prayerful that God grants me and mine a smooth passage on this journey. But honestly I’m beginning to embrace the challenges and slight obstacles along the way (still trying to come to peace with setbacks…too hard at times). I’m embracing them because they help to form the journey, make me appreciative of what I get and hold on tighter to it. God made me (and you) promises which are delivered on but sometimes they have to be delivered through some trials and errors for you to know that it was a God given blessing.
So that leads me to also praying that things go well with my hair in the morning! 🙂 Also on this path to becoming natural, I’m learning more about my hair and how we can better coexist. I want it to be healthy, so that means I have to take better care of the body it’s on. I also feel a great sense of pride in ME. I don’t feel that I to conform to other standards of beauty, but instead define it for me and only me. Yep this being forty is indeed making more comfortable in my own skin. What about you!? What trials have you journeyed through? What makes you feel good in your own skin?
Just some thoughts….

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Living in the Sunshine,
MochaChic