‘Tis the Season

Hello SunShines! I could go on and on about how crazy life has been. But I won’t…for it’s the Christmas season and I have been preparing my home, our gifts and most importantly my heart for the Holiday. I am also remembering what the true meaning of the season is. And that alone fills me with peace, joy, comfort, and rest!! I’m so grateful for the reason of this season! Keep it in mind as we approach Jesus’ Birthday (as my youngest niece says)!

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/53c/14205527/files/2014/12/img_5334.jpg

Wishing you all love & light,
MochaChic

Advertisements

This is no longer me…

Sunshines, For the last thirty-six years, I’ve spent my life in the haze of no-lye( this is kinda ironic), burning scalp, smelly concotions, to achieve the straightest thick, coarse hair that I could. It was under the belief that I had no other choice if I wanted my gorgeous crown to fit into the “standards of beauty”, that I had to subject my hair to at least monthly. I didn’t know anything else. I was afraid to see what my natural hair texture was like…who would want to deal with that? Yes…I had no patience to figure it out. And truthfully, I was scared…

Scared of not being accepted by the “norm”. Scared of not being seen as “beautiful”. Scared that I wouldn’t like my own hair and fail at being a “natural”. It all changed in August of 2013. I was about to enter a new phase and I wanted it to represent change…a metaphormophisis in my life. So I reflected, “cocooned”, and made a decision…my last relaxer was in May and it would be the last one that I would receive. No more was I addicted to the “allure of the creamy crack”. The haze disappeared and I could see clearly that no matter what my natural texture would be, I would love it because it was all ME!

On March 1st, after transitioning for close to 9 months, I did my chop! It wasn’t much of a big one for I had transitioned well. But I was still proud to get rid of my “dead” relaxed ends and let the life of my natural hair begin. I got my newly freed hair blown out to check the length. Leaving the salon, I commited to keeping my tresses straight for a few days.

naturallymestraight

Funny thing…it was embraced by others…but I wasn’t feeling it. I missed my curls…and the kinks, the coils! Oh My! The straight hair lasted for about 2 or 3 days and I couldn’t wait to wash my hair for them to return! The straight hair, the relaxed look…is no longer me! Wow….

My decision and journey to natural has been amazing! I have not only learned to have patience with my hair, but I’m learning about her needs and what it takes for her to be the best her, which makes me feel fabulous and gorgeous! I have also felt completely supported by my husband, my family, and friends. They let me know that it was okay for me to embrace this natural side of me. They made me feel safe. They let me unleash and go through the journey with the good, bad and the beautiful of my trial hairstyles and product tests. Even when I see stares and looks of uncertainty from others, especially my co-workers (they never know what to expect from me!), I feel solid. I am having fun and enjoying getting to know this new me and learning what the new standard of beauty is…being authentically you! Living in my truth. And that includes living with the hair that God has blessed me with!

Introducing….

naturallyme

My new beautiful hair, Tabitha (yes…most naturals name their fros/hair)! I hope to bring more tales of Tabitha and our journey together. We also welcome any advice and love (please share in the comments!). What makes you feel beautiful? Have your “standards” of beauty changed as you have gone through life? What defines beauty for you?

Living in my Sunshine,

MochaChic

It’s the day of Love…

Sunshines…those closest to me know that I am a true romantic at heart and I am in love with love! So it being Valentine’s Day, I’m in my true element! However, over the years, even though I’m married now…I am not as excited about Valentine’s Day. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy and celebrate it big. But I’m learning how to show my love and celebrate those that I care about on a daily basis and not just letting them know on this day. I’m also learning that love is a journey and it’s one that my heart has chosen to persue, learn from, and enjoy to find the happiness it desires for my life. What does Valentine’s Day mean to you? How do you celebrate your love for yourself and others? And Sunshines…Happy Valentine’s Day!

20130508-233733.jpg

5 Mid-week thoughts of a NewlyWifed

AHHH Wednesday! Definitely my favorite day of the week, possibly because I like to take time to reflect on the week thus far and what else needs to be accomplished the rest of the week. These reflections always results in the most random thoughts, that I always want to share! So here we go,

1. Living…happy today. I’ve declared that I will be faithful to God by choosing happiness, love, and trust instead of depression, fear, and doubt/worry! This song always puts me in the happiest of moods and frame of mind! I mean with the catchy beats and the lyrics being right on point, Pharrell has a hit on his hands (not surprised…been a fan for years!) and I just have to share it with you. It’s become my next theme song and trying to find a way to have it as my song for my alarm clock (maybe it might help with me not being a morning person…lol). Enjoy…

2. Loving… the life I was blessed with! I know that I’m my worst critic (like most women are…why do we do that to ourselves?) and I have to remember that despite my flaws, I need to take time to love on me. So I’m beginning to eat healthy and work out again. I am promising myself to also get back to my creative side (hopefully writing more poetry), and trying to focus on building the life I want to live. The following video was shared with me by one of my dear line sisters and it just had me all in my feelings! It is so inspiring and I plan to keep it in my arsenal for those times when I need a boost. I hope you enjoy it was well.

3. Laughing…which I tend to find a way to do daily! I know it might be crazy that I still refer to myself as “NewlyWifed” although we have been married for a little over 2 years. But I am still learning daily about this marriage thing. Something that I thought about this morning was how our relationship with each other is seen through the eyes of others. There is  no denying that my husband is a social butterfly and enjoys making people laugh. However, what I’ve found is that in that and in our relating with one another, he brings out more of that side to me. We end up complimenting each other pretty well. In fact, someone made a remark last night about how we must have a lot of fun together. We do…but like any other marriage, we also have our stormy times as well. I’m just happy to say that so far, the happy days and laughter do out number the other ones.

4. Random… I often wonder about Motherdom…it’s not a secret that if we are to have more in our family that we have to get on the stick! Since I work in a middle school (which is birth control by the way), I often see parenting mistakes and parents that rock this thing. However, I also know how worrisome and anxious I get (but working on it, see #1) I can get! In fact the other week, the furbaby had been sick off and on over the course of a few days and the Hubbs and I were up one early morning really concerned about him. I began to fret…what will happen to him? I so love him and wish I knew what was wrong? how can I soothe him right now? All of the things a mom would think! And this is just my doggie here…not another human being. So I wonder how much will I be cut out for the role of someone’s mom, although folks always say oh you are going to be a great mom!  Well….

And then there is this feeling & thought that I had over the weekend…so many friends are having little ones. And I began to realize that I hadn’t talked with one particular friend in awhile. Then I panicked in thinking that, is this what happens when you become a mother? do you die…socially? meaning everyone “forgets” about you or is too busy to check on you? or are you too busy to become “social” again? I have declared that I want to improve my relationships with my girlfriends this year and after hanging out with them, I always feel “fuller” and a piece of me feels at peace. So I need that…so the question begs to be asked…how much “happiness” do you “sacrifice” by becoming a mother?  Selfish I know…but then I come across articles like this one,  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/13/childless-couples-happier-kids-study_n_4589368.html , where it says that childless couples report that they are happier and have a more fulfilling  relationships. I agree to an extent only because I always said two things about my marriage (even before Marrydom): divorce is not an option and the marriage is first priority, then children. But what do you all think??

5. WordLove… I miss writing poetry…I really do. But I want to get back to my creative writing roots and finally publish my book that I’ve talked about forever! But here’s a beginning to something that keeps “visiting” my thoughts..a string of six word stories:

 Meant for me? We will see/ Love never ending, is only beginning/  Intense heat, builds the diamond.Priceless/ Sing a song, my heart knows/ House of music, House of happy/ Go without, see what you need.

Just some thoughts while living in the Sunshine,

MochaChic

 

2014 & One Word

Happy New Year Sunshines!

Already I feel more at rest and at ease with what the new year may hold me and everyone around us! If everyone continues to claim the great and positive vibes in the year, we could all very well pull off a successful one. As for me, I am looking to speak many things into existence for my life this year. Not necessarily are these resolutions, but life improvements and life enhancements of the enriching kind. Later in the week I will be making a vision board, something I’ve always wanted to try, in order to help with these goals coming into fruition. However, in preparation, I began to ponder on what one word would I use to focus on and hone in on all that I would like to accomplish. I even used an inspiring activity from fellow blogger, Michelle Garrett of Divas with a Purpose ( http://www.divaswithapurpose.com/2013/12/one-word-2014-2/)  to help me narrow down my one word for 2014.  Finally, I came to the word PEACE.

Image

This word seemed to encompass what I am looking for in everything I will accomplish and experience in 2014. Peace in my spiritual walk. Peace within and in the relationship I have with myself. Peace in my marriage. Peace in the new family we continue to create. Peace in the new home to come. Peace in my relationships with family and friends. Peace in my career calling and path. Peace in my finances. Peace in the impact I will make by helping others. Through enriching life experiences and opportunities, I hope to honor this peace. For through peace, I feel that I can also reach other goals of having a life full of gratitude,happiness, success, adventure, and love (which were other words I thought of before). Peace will be the word I focus on when I prepare for each day. Peace will be the focus of the scriptures that I mediate on. Peace will be the word I look for in the midst of the struggles and obstacles that will come for me to grow from. With this foundation, I can build my vision! I can’t wait to share with you all my completed vision and how things come to past through this year!

As always, please share with me your one word (by all means complete the activity that Michelle shared) and your vision for 2014! Looking forward to learning more from everyone!

Living in the Sunshine (peacefully),

MochaChic

ps. Thank you so much to my book club sister Jamika for the beginning of the inspiration by gifting me the Peace stone in the pic above. I should have known that it was just what I needed!

What I know now…because of 2013.

justmesassy

Hello Sunshines!

The time has arrived to welcome a new year, new opportunity, a do-over, a refresh, a reset…a new endeavor! I want to say that 2013 was a good year to me, however, it was filled with many lessons learned, a few difficult, that I’m still reflecting on and wondering, “Why Lord did I have to go through that to learn a lesson?” O_o  However, what I know now is because of this past year.

The three (because that’s my fav number) things I learned in 2013 were:

1. Sometimes you have to have more than tenacity to make it through this journey called life. You also have to have perseverance, resiliency, and know who is for you (and only worry about those people!). These qualities will not only help you reach your goals, but also through the valleys of struggle that may come along. There were some times of loneliness in the valleys that I experienced and I dug deep within to come through that. It took me strengthening my faith and sharpening the aforementioned qualities to climb me up and prepare for more dips along the way. At the end of this year, I am stronger and better because of it all. This I know now.

2. You have to learn to face the fear of your fears. One of my fears is heights, although I still want to go on a hot air balloon ride and possibly tandem skydiving! Turning forty this year, I wanted to begin to be more daring and not be afraid to live outside of my “box” (that’s where the real life lessons happen right?). Therefore, my husband, keeping to my “theme”, he gifted me a ziplining experience. I was frightened! But the more zips we went on, the more I relaxed, the more I began to enjoy the ride and take in the whole scenario and what was happening. For once, I truly began to live in that moment! That event led me to be open to a wonderful date night with my husband on the new ferris wheel here, SkyView Atlanta! The views of our city were amazing and again, I was able to live in the moment with him and not be concerned about being waaaayyy up high and the fact that it was slightly windy (the gondola did shake some)! As I reflected on why I have this fear of heights, I narrowed it down to it being about “control”…so yes I’m admitting that I have a slight control freak issue. However, because this is also stressful for me at times, I know that I have to work on facing the fear of my fears to become a better me and LIVE life instead of just going through it. And everything always won’t be perfect…or in my control.This I know now.

3. In order for change to arrive, you have to shed who you were before.  This year, I shed the habit of relaxing my hair. I am taking my transitioning to a change in life and a new me from not only the inside but to the outside as well. I had my last relaxer, I think, in May before installing twists. Once it was time to remove the braids, I pretty much decided that I didn’t want to relax my hair anymore and there the movement began of  becoming a Naturalista! I had often thought about transitioning before, but was very afraid to (again scared of letting go the “control over what my hair would be like”) for I had not seen my natural hair texture before (more on this in coming posts!).  Now, I am welcoming this opportunity to grow not only my hair, but also my knowledge of who I am in this experience. It has so far been a rewarding and loving opportunity. This I know now.

I am thankful that this year taught me these things and that I was able to accomplish so much! I am looking forward to many more lessons, AHA moments, and blessings of eye opening, moving forward events in 2014. What I also know now is that this blog is a great forum to share this story in and therefore, please be looking for posts in Life & MochaChic  at least twice a week ( I now have more time!)! And as always, please share by commenting and sharing posts that speak to you in some way! Here’s to a wonderful 2014 and much more to know!

Happy New Year’s Eve Sunshines! See you in 2014…

Living in the Sunshine,

MochaChic

 

 

 

 

Forty in thirty…

My fortieth birthday is a month from today and as I begin to reflect on the blessings in my life and what I want the next forty years to become, I had a strong thought. So I am asking all of my FB family and friends to help me with a project I would like to complete. 
Any one that knows me, knows how passionate I am about children and their preparation for life. A huge part of that preparation lies in education. We are about to return to school and I am asking your help to prepare our youth for the beginning of school. I would like to collect 40 full backpacks (paper, folders, pens, pencils, etc.) with advice or words of encouragement from you to the students for having a successful school year!
I would like to reach this goal by the end of August and collect them again in January. Will you please help? 

***** I posted this message on Facebook and so far, I have gotten a wonderful response and I’m looking forward to planning so much more! I want this birthday celebration to not only be about me and who I want to become in this new phase of life. But also about making an impact on those all around me! 

How do you celebrate your birthday? You know I want to hear about your ideas, so please share!

Living in the Sunshine,

MochaChic

Image

Image from dreamstime.com