We will be strong…

41meSunShines, The unfortunate series of events and the killing of Michael Brown have set deep in my spirit, like so many others I’m sure. Just thinking about this incident as well as the senseless end of life for Trayvon Martin, Jordan Davis, and many others (especially in the Chicago area) brought to mind a poem that I wrote four years ago…

Please Listen©

Shhh don’t you hear it?
Shhh don’t you feel it?
Shhh don’t you see it?
Shhh don’t you smell that?
I’m our youth hear me roar.
I don’t want to be in crisis
Anymore, no more of
The anger that spells danger
Masking the depression and
Sadness I feel nor understand.
Please listen
My shout is louder and I don’t want to bite.
I am fighting for whatever, not sure what, with all of my might.
I push and shove without consequence.
And never once, until too late, do you acknowledge it.
When a short life is taken and gone…
You want to throw up arms,
yelling….we are in crisis and are always causing harm.
Then wondering what is it that WE need to do…
Not knowing what I need from you is clear to me
So finding my own way is key.
Please listen
You all blame my tragedies on the music, technology, and sins of the world.
They can not raise me.
But look within. The man in the mirror does not lie.
You are all knowing that you are not all that you should be for me.
You want me successful without putting anything into it.
Where will I learn this?
School does what it can do in its 8, but how much more
can they take?
First teacher is at home, ask yourself where were you?
Don’t shun me now. Don’t try to rule me now.
Reflections lie in the eye of the beholder.
How will I know what potentials I have if you have fallen short of your own?
Please listen
Feelings of invincibility and the cares of the now rule me.
My actions speak impulsiveness into a reality.
Did you know I do not yet possess the
capabilities to rationalize anything right on my feet?
Why expect this of me?
Please listen
Tattoos of words you speak are wrapped all around…
Worthless
Uncivil
Lost
Unempathetic
Troubled
Entitled
Ruthless
Dark
Soulless
Unwanted
You will be nothing
They are stuck in my head.
Do you hear them? Shhh…please listen I want you to hear me.
You let them drip from your lips so carelessly.
I pick them up and use them to build my path-where will it lead?
They are my excuse to explain who I am to you.
Who you see before you.
A Youth in crisis.
Angry, unruly unyielding
Please listen.
Because you made me.
Now what?? Is it too late for me?
Shhh…Please listen.
Won’t you help me now? Show me how to find my way?
Please listen.

Living in the SunShine,

MochaChic

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Aside

Kiss…

Sometimes words find themselves to express a specfic moment in time…this poem reflects what I felt when my husband (boyfriend at the time…) and I kissed for the first time! Just wanted to share those thoughts into words….

Kiss©

We kissed.

And it meant so much (at least to me).

There was so much more

said in it than words

could ever display.

Does it mark the beginning

of our story?

Or your dramatic way of

Saying this is the end even before we are anything?

Is a kiss just a kiss?

Can it mend and heal?

What did it all mean anyway,

you know, the other day?

Clear out the sky blue,

our lips met and flower petals

flew.

You became me

and I became you.

Even for the minute or two…

Then somehow I recovered

but in a mist of confusion.

Help me know…was it a figment of my imagination?

Oh how real the tenderness of your passion felt.

Fire, spice, everything nice wrapping me up….and then letting me fall

Head over heels and at one point

Heels over my head…

Yes, that is what I saw in that kiss.

Some kind of blissful moment,full of intense and immense energy.

How could it be that it happened just in that one?

I await for it to happen again.

Is there something that I may have missed?

Because I was just swept away by my thoughts of you

By a beautiful kiss.

Everything laid out for you to see

How can I be so weak, even more than just in the knees?!

Just because of a kiss…

Your lips on mine

Suspending time

Tongues intertwined

Melodies of moans

Because this taste soo good.

It had to have meant something(to you too).

So let me off the hook, flip the book and tell me how this will end.

Fable, parable,myth, or a happily ever after…?

After a delay, you stare at me and say…”further research is needed in this matter”.

You lean back in

I lean forward

Waiting, watching sparks ignite

And I remark, ” I conclude that this will be a long night!”

And just think it started with a kiss

Clear out the sky blue, when

our lips met and flower petals

flew and we just knew….

-C. Arin

Living in the Sunshine,

MochaChic

Gaines (Print) 17

5 Mid-week thoughts of a NewlyWifed

AHHH Wednesday! Definitely my favorite day of the week, possibly because I like to take time to reflect on the week thus far and what else needs to be accomplished the rest of the week. These reflections always results in the most random thoughts, that I always want to share! So here we go,

1. Living…happy today. I’ve declared that I will be faithful to God by choosing happiness, love, and trust instead of depression, fear, and doubt/worry! This song always puts me in the happiest of moods and frame of mind! I mean with the catchy beats and the lyrics being right on point, Pharrell has a hit on his hands (not surprised…been a fan for years!) and I just have to share it with you. It’s become my next theme song and trying to find a way to have it as my song for my alarm clock (maybe it might help with me not being a morning person…lol). Enjoy…

2. Loving… the life I was blessed with! I know that I’m my worst critic (like most women are…why do we do that to ourselves?) and I have to remember that despite my flaws, I need to take time to love on me. So I’m beginning to eat healthy and work out again. I am promising myself to also get back to my creative side (hopefully writing more poetry), and trying to focus on building the life I want to live. The following video was shared with me by one of my dear line sisters and it just had me all in my feelings! It is so inspiring and I plan to keep it in my arsenal for those times when I need a boost. I hope you enjoy it was well.

3. Laughing…which I tend to find a way to do daily! I know it might be crazy that I still refer to myself as “NewlyWifed” although we have been married for a little over 2 years. But I am still learning daily about this marriage thing. Something that I thought about this morning was how our relationship with each other is seen through the eyes of others. There is  no denying that my husband is a social butterfly and enjoys making people laugh. However, what I’ve found is that in that and in our relating with one another, he brings out more of that side to me. We end up complimenting each other pretty well. In fact, someone made a remark last night about how we must have a lot of fun together. We do…but like any other marriage, we also have our stormy times as well. I’m just happy to say that so far, the happy days and laughter do out number the other ones.

4. Random… I often wonder about Motherdom…it’s not a secret that if we are to have more in our family that we have to get on the stick! Since I work in a middle school (which is birth control by the way), I often see parenting mistakes and parents that rock this thing. However, I also know how worrisome and anxious I get (but working on it, see #1) I can get! In fact the other week, the furbaby had been sick off and on over the course of a few days and the Hubbs and I were up one early morning really concerned about him. I began to fret…what will happen to him? I so love him and wish I knew what was wrong? how can I soothe him right now? All of the things a mom would think! And this is just my doggie here…not another human being. So I wonder how much will I be cut out for the role of someone’s mom, although folks always say oh you are going to be a great mom!  Well….

And then there is this feeling & thought that I had over the weekend…so many friends are having little ones. And I began to realize that I hadn’t talked with one particular friend in awhile. Then I panicked in thinking that, is this what happens when you become a mother? do you die…socially? meaning everyone “forgets” about you or is too busy to check on you? or are you too busy to become “social” again? I have declared that I want to improve my relationships with my girlfriends this year and after hanging out with them, I always feel “fuller” and a piece of me feels at peace. So I need that…so the question begs to be asked…how much “happiness” do you “sacrifice” by becoming a mother?  Selfish I know…but then I come across articles like this one,  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/13/childless-couples-happier-kids-study_n_4589368.html , where it says that childless couples report that they are happier and have a more fulfilling  relationships. I agree to an extent only because I always said two things about my marriage (even before Marrydom): divorce is not an option and the marriage is first priority, then children. But what do you all think??

5. WordLove… I miss writing poetry…I really do. But I want to get back to my creative writing roots and finally publish my book that I’ve talked about forever! But here’s a beginning to something that keeps “visiting” my thoughts..a string of six word stories:

 Meant for me? We will see/ Love never ending, is only beginning/  Intense heat, builds the diamond.Priceless/ Sing a song, my heart knows/ House of music, House of happy/ Go without, see what you need.

Just some thoughts while living in the Sunshine,

MochaChic

 

Just wanted to share a little…

Winter//Spring//Summer//Fall©

Season after season// I continue to offer my all
Like the autumn leaves I am changing color and u fall off//when the wind blew just a little harder why didn’t u stay// hold on for me//fight to be near to me//
Instead I go through the bareness of winter//looking foward but feeling cold// needing the breathe of fresh air that I desired

My season is about to change//I will be there to embrace it//Embracing all the changes
around//how is it possible,how is it happening for me
We were once so green new fresh//lightness of being//easy//carefree
Intensity grew//heat upon us//storms brew and we battle//rain cleanses and tries to soothe the wounds

My season is about to change//I will be there to embrace it//Embracing all the changes
around//how is it possible,how is it happening for me
Life brisker//I’m left behind//don’t want resentment to build//I change// change for me//u are upset and feel deserted

Back and forth we go//unsure of what feels right//both unprepared to release the other// questions and blame abound//touch harder the wind blew//for me we were then through

My season is about to change//I will be there to embrace it//Embracing all the changes
around//how is it possible,how is it happening for me
Feelings of inadequancies//doubt rises in fear//loneliness threatens to creep in and steal my heart I want to hold on//make journeys to discover the mirror spirit of mine//be prayerful of all possibilities//open to whatever season I’m in

My season is about to change//I will be there to embrace it//Embracing all the changes
around//how is it possible,how is it happening for me                                                     Always for me//love is in the air// the one will not be compared// arriving in the blooming or harvesting time// as I am now sowing the seeds of our infinity

I am renewed// despite come what may//this rebirth will not be washed away//it will wait// it will be fed//it will grow// it will become the greatest masterpiece

My season is about change//I will be there to embrace it//Embracing all the love and faith around//it is possible//it is happening for me because it is My Season.

fallhascome

Wordful Wednesday

Hi all! Usually on Wednesdays when I post, I like to share a creative piece by moi, however today this picture and its meaning truly struck me! One of the things I’ve been working on is watching what I say, how I say it, and  to whom I say it (don’t want it necessarily to get to everyone!). So I will be trying this little tidbit and see how it works when dealing with speaking to others.  Do you worry about how and to whom you communicate with? Have we become such a society that nothing is off the tables to talk about it regardless of the audience? Also…..is it true that if others talk about people to you then they more than likely talk about you too?? That last one is truly something to watch….Talk to me…share your thoughts, I would love to hear them!

Pic & quote from SayingImages.com

Pic & quote from SayingImages.com

Living in the Sunshine,

MochaChic

 

Here We go…AGAIN!

Welcome to the “new” MochaChic!! I had taken some time off (more extended than I wanted to) from blogging…but in the midst it occurred to me that my blog needed a “breath of fresh air”! I wanted to refocus the blog to really share my journey to become better and greater and praying that others find something useful from my experience, my words…So here we are  again…

Previously I would sign off on my posts with “Peace, Life, Love, Faith”.  However, I never really shared why I did that. I believe it first came from what do I want most in life and the first thought was happiness. Of course everyone wants happiness, but what does that look like or come from? This took a lot of thinking, reflecting, inner soul searching and from this came this equation that equals to my happiness (which is a journey in attaining the following):

Peace

Defined as… freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions;: harmony in personal relations

PLUS

Life

Defined as… the sequence of physical and mental experiences that make up the existence of an individual; one or more aspects of the process of living

PLUS

Love

Defined as…warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion;  unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another

PLUS

Faith

Defined as…belief and trust in and loyalty to God;  something that is believed especially with strong conviction

EQUALS

HAPPINESS!

Soon after the decision to renew the blog, I again revisited these words and the concept of happiness. What symbolizes this for me? The sun! I always think of warmth, fun days (living life),love the energy, and it always counted on to be there! Just the thought of the sun makes me happy and it makes sense for me since I’m a sun sign (Leo) anyway.

So now when people ask how I’m doing, I respond, “Living in the sunshine of my life!”.

sun1

Therefore, I hope that as the sunshine continues to make our journey glow, you will join me in That’s Life According to…MochaChic! Can’t wait to share with you all of the exciting adventures ahead! As always, your support, blog love (comments), and sharing of this blog is greatly welcomed and appreciated! I look forward to so, so, so much more!

Living in the Sunshine, 

MochaChic